The other day Asa found yet another abomination of nature in the garden. We don't like these. They make us shudder.
I heard him yelling and asked him what was going on.
"Don't worry." he says. "It was just some kind of paper thing. Maybe another alien mushroom or something."
"We come in peace"
"I just put it in the green waste bin." He says.
My skin was already creeping and a crawling but I just had to go out to investigate. Inside, on top of our green waste was a weird grey paper spun into a ball. It didn't look that gross at all. Then I picked it up and the heavy weight filled me with revulsion. I dropped it as it was filled with...gahhh... maggots! Writhing maggots! Argghhhh!!
At first I thought the paper thing must have once been alive or food or whatever, then I realised it was actually a hive of some sort. As my thirst for knowledge conquers all I googled 'wasp maggots' and this made me go What the Fuck?:
The actual answers were all pretty straight. One person even explained, in great detail, what the maggots (rather larvae) would eat... but surely Queer Ronnie is taking the piss? Surely? It's bloody hilarious!
In the end I poured boiling water on them. As foul as they were I still felt a bit mean.