Do I look like I came down in the last shower? Well, maybe not literally but you look like a bit of a chump

That's probably what the Clive Peter's salesman would have answered (if he was injected with some Get Smart-like truth serum) if I had asked him that question.

Holy Mary Mother of God. That's why I hate those stores so much. Those sales people are so Ten Steps of Selling brainwashed that they don't know how ridiculous they sound... and I have to say, in my experience, Clive Peter's staff are the worst of them all.

We are on a mission to get a few things done before summer including getting some proper air conditioning for this place. So while Asa was off talking air conditioners I thought I'd wander over to the TVs. I want to get a flat screen. Asa needs some convincing. We have both been kind of against them on principle but now I am coming around. Just that, aesthetically, they look so much nicer than our old chunker bunker cheap as chips silver 51cm rear projection. Having said that I honestly don't like the HUGE MOTHER FUCKER TV's on any kind of level much to some people's dismay. Not only that, I really, REALLY don't like them on principle (especially Plasma, don't get me started). I hate that in the last few years and in a very stealthy, almost imperceptible way, it's become NORMAL to spend several thousand dollars on televisions. Wasn't it only seven or ten years ago that $1,000 bought you a top of the range TV? Now it appears that's a bargain. A bargain that does not exist according to this 'say it don't spray it' bucky toothed salesman.

So back to Clive Peter's. He's showing me the 40" TV's which basically range in price from around $1,500 to $5,000 and this is where I reckon they get most of us. Even me, with my SUPERIOR PRINCIPLES and my guard well and truly up is wondering whether I should be looking at 'middle of the range' (around $3,000) because if 200 Mhz is great, does that make 100 Mhz shit? We can't affort $3,000 but we could if we really wanted to and we would be able to pay in cash. What about all the people who can't even afford $500 in cash let alone $3,000? 2 year interest free loan, or credit card, that's right!

So yeah, I guess I'm going off on a bit of rant and acting more than a bit superior but I can't help it. Some people can be just so dumb and greedy and materialistic and envious these days and it really does give me the shits sometimes. I want to reiterate that's some people. And I'm sure it's all people some of the time. We have to be vigilante. OH WHY CAN'T EVERYONE BE LIKE ME?!

Just kidding.

Kind of.

Like I said, I almost bought it (the perceived need yada, yada, not the TV). And I know I have in the past, and I'm sure I will in the future.

So, again, back to my man at CP. I'm interested in a Sony but it's $1,899 and I'm confused as I know so many people who have big brand TV's which are 40" and cost them around $1,000. And this salesperson is saying no way. And I so feel like saying 'yes way' but for some reason I can't. I feel embarrassed for him which is just so ridiculous. I ask him what kind of deal he can do with the Sony 40" and a $800 24" (which we need for a computer monitor/spare TV for the spare room) and I pursue the $1,000. I forget my empathetic embarrassment for him and tell him a friend got a Panasonic 40" with a Wii thrown in. Honestly, he did not want to hear it, literally! He spoke over me! Telling me it can't be true! (but it was, I'm telling you!). He tells me he can absolutely do a 'deal' for me. So I say, ok what can you do? He then asks me to come and sit down in the Office (!) while he speaks to his manager but, get this, he will need 'some kind of committment' from me. I almost laugh at him and this is where I would have used the 'Do I look like I came down in the last shower' line if I had the sass. I ask 'Can't you just give me a ball park figure?". No he can't. It's the policy* (VERY stupid, way-to-get-customers-NOT-to-come-back policy, Clive!) He then goes on to say that they have a 14 day return policy so if I do find a better deal AFTER I HAVE BOUGHT the goods, I can come back to CP and they will match the price. Oh, I see! That's a great deal! Why didn't you mention that before! I buy from you, THEN I compare prices in an ample 14 day time period. And I'm sure I would encounter no problems with you matching a cheaper quote.

GREAT DEAL!















Thanks for you topsy turvy offer but no thanks.


*The sad thing is this policy obviously works